I will say first that The Fame Monster, Ms. GaGa’s debut effort, is a spectacularly well-crafted piece of pop music; it is without a doubt one of my favorite albums.

I will say second that there is a preponderance of evidence suggesting that sexual orientation is significantly (but not entirely) determined by genetics. In that literal sense, we are indeed born this way.

And I will say third that I am bisexual, and that I’ve known that on one level or another since I was nine years old.

 

Those disclaimers out of the way, I have a bone to pick. Being “born this way” is nothing to be proud of. There’s nothing even slightly praiseworthy about being queer.

Coming out, now, that’s something to be proud of. It can be difficult. It requires courage. In its own small way, it advances the cause of equality.

If you’re straight, being an ally to the queer community is something to be proud of.

Getting someone awesome to fall in love with you, that’s something to be proud of, too, because of what it says about you.

Pride is something you have to earn. You shouldn’t be proud to be American, proud to be white, proud to be descended from George Washington, or proud to be queer.

By the same token, these aren’t things to be ashamed of, either. You can’t take credit, good or bad, for the hand of cards you’re dealt.

 

This was something I had to learn the hard way. Recent research suggests that making this mistake in the realm of intelligence can be costly. If you believe that intelligence is something you’re born with, if you’re praised as a child for being smart and not for working hard, your work ethic will suffer. It took me a long time to learn that I shouldn’t be proud of my intelligence. The interesting things about me, the parts of me that are awesome, I earned those. If I want to become more awesome (and I do), I’ll have to earn that, too.

That was my mistake. Ms. GaGa’s error is a little different. She thinks we should be proud

‘Cause God makes no mistakes.

She’ll be heartbroken when she learns about the blind spot in the eye of every vertebrate. Or the conjunction fallacy. Or cancer.

Sorry to be such a drag.